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Leclerc
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Name: George
Country: United States
State: Ohio
Birthday: 12/31/1982
Gender: Male
Expertise: None
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/2/2003
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| What have I gained in three months? When I look at it
introspectivly, I have gained a new sense of self-awareness. Gone
are the days of anguish. Gone are the days of excessive bliss.
Part of it stems from re-asserting my basic virtues; loyalty,
humbleness, competency, self-determination, honosty. For months I
have felt that I have been losing them to various external factors such
as insomnia and stress. Re-asserting them has brought peace in my
mind.
Honostly, I have not truly played console or computer games in over 4
years. This hiatus was caused about by my religious fevor
to succeed in school and life. I use to remember the days before
college when my brother and I owned every system, every RPG, and had
people over every weekend to match our wits and pride. This was
hiatus broken two weeks ago when my brother gave me a Playstation 2 for
Chinese New Years. Since then, I have been addicted to the
supposed sequel to my favorite RPG of all time, XenoGears. Ahh, it's been a while.
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| I wonder to myself whether I scare people away with my antics.
Who really listens to what I have to say? Do they even care about
it? Is there any meaning to it? Perhaps I have taken a lot
of things over the top and in the process given people a perception of
near madness.
I'm not even sure that there is someone in this world that understands
the true me underneath the sheath of randomness. But I always ask
myself, would anyone care to know who I am? The real question, am
I willing to share myself with anyone? The answer is really not
quite clear. It's muddle within contradicting philosphies of life
that I developed somewhere in the past and practice everyday.
In answering all these questions swirling in my head, I must open the
floodgates of my mind and speak with a frankness that I have not
experienced in years. Although in this short journal I can give
only a trickle of what I think, feel, experience everyday, I hope that
by doing this, people might understand a bit more into my inner
psyche. Perhaps I'm deluding myself in that fact, but as a plus
for myself, this gives me an opportunity to ground myself from what I
perceive as a runaway madness gone awry.
It is a given that there's always at least one thing, tangible or
intangible, that drives a persons life. For the most part, its
always a confusing array that ties itself to the person. For me
this is quite true. But when I break this array into it's pure
element, it all leads to one direction, I care for all people. No
matter where I go, my hope is that everyone around me can forget their
pain and suffering for a moment, just to experience the joys that life
has to offer. Am I a puss? Perhaps, but that does not
concern me. So, ends this edition of this hopefully long
blog. The next time, I'll continue further with this and actually
build and develop my ideas.
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| Three hours away until I'm 22. What a feeling of euphoria and
serenity all mixed together as another year passes by. Although I
am far away from the ones I love and truly care for, I really cannot
complain. I have my health, well somewhat. I have my
sanity, debatable. But more importantly the very people around me
have given me the best gift any person could get, the knowladge that in
this world, there are people there for you no matter how far or close
you are. I guess it's my turn to give each and everyone one of
them a small token of my appreciation. Although I cannot provide
you with something tangible, I hope everyone realizes my sincerity and
emotions as I say this. If I leave someone out, don't
worry. This post will most likely be ongoing and it is hard for me to express my true feelings to everyone.
#1
Thank you very much for my parents for visiting last week for
Christmas. Your undying support and love has kept me sane and
happy during the bad and good times. I hope that one day, I can
provide you with something more than you have provided me in the twenty
two years I have existed.
#2
Joseph, how the years have passed by and how you have changed. I
have seen you change from the funny brother you were to the intelligent
and driven person you are now, but still comical. One day, you
will do great things and I hope that I can be a part or share in that
greatness. I can only say that you are the best brother anyone
could have ever have.
#3
Dave, what can I say. How did we ever become friends in the first
place? Somehow, fate just kept trying to force us together.
You mentioned that when we first met my freshman year, you were sure we
would not meet again. Yet, we met on the Greyhound Bus one year
later and then in the commons numerous times thereafter. It was
not when we made our *cough *cough kick ass movie that we really
understood each other. You were there during my tough times this
and part of last year. I have truly appreciated your advice and
confidence. Thank you.
#4
Nate Nate Nate Nate Nate....You're the only person who has ever truly
listened to my rants....Somehow, you've raised my racism notch to a new
level, but that's not too much of a bad thing since it's all good and
clean fun....May you find your dreams and may you find that special
person for you...I am confident that you will and when that happens, I
would love to meet that wonderful person....Thanks for being there
during my time of stress and psychological extreme....Live your life in
harmony and be happy for who you are....
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| I am finally back online after more than 2 weeks without the
internet. Since I'll be away from everyone for a bit, I've
decided to use this blog to just update people as to how I'm doing.
Where do I start? Well, there are some things off limit so that takes away 3/4 of the things I can really talk about.
Actually, my whole family came down for a few days. We ended
going up to New York City to visit my dad's family. It's
interesting how Chinese family interact. In a nutshell,
there are three phrases you get bombarded with depending on your status:
1. If you are married - "When will you have kids? I hope
its a
boy."
2. If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend - "When are you two getting
married."
3. If none of this applies - "Be sure to invite me to your
wedding.
But by then, I might not be alive."
Despite this, it was such a great trip. I got to meet a lot of
uncles and aunts that I did not even know existed. One uncle,
who's a laywer for tech firms in New York City, even told me that the
anime I download is still considered illegal. Oh well....
I think what really made this weekend were all the intersting and
quirky things I learned from each and everyone of my family
members. The most notable was my dad getting caught for speeding
by a Japanese policeman. It sounds normal an innocent enought,
until he mentioned the fact that the policeman was riding a bicycle and
chasing after him. That just brings up the question, how can you,
driving a car, get caught for speeding by a bicycle? It's better
than one of my co workers story about his run in with the law. He
was driving about 109 mph down the highway making a beer run when he
was 18 years old. All throughout the trip his girlfriend kept
nagging him to slow down. Well, he heeded to her demands and
slowed his car down to about the speed limit. At the moment
he slowed down, a cop caught up to him and pulled him over. As he
was getting his ticket the cop said "Do you know why you're getting
this ticket." Of course he said he was speeding. The
response of the cop was "Well, there was no way I would have caught up
to you. The only reason you're getting this ticket is because you
slowed down." So, what's the lessons from both of these
stories? If you're driving fast or a cop is on a slow vehicle of
some sort, just hit the gas, they'll never catch up with you.
The good thing about having a lot of time on my hand is that I can go
back to my true passon........... #6 or masterbaiting in
mammoth.............No, what am I talking about. Actually, I've
been able to think and reorganize my thoughts and doctorine for living
life. This is actually something that I've been meaning to do but
been putting off for a very long time. I'll probably dwell into
this the next time I update this, but in the meantime, I'm off to
sleep. Enjoy!
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| As I sit here thinking about all of the ideas, hopes, and desires that I have ever had since I became cauntious
of my own existence, I feel a sense of void. When I was younger,
I would always dream of a one and simple solution that would solve the
ails of the world. A one and simple solution that would bring
about a utopia where hunger, strife, and suffering does not
exists. Of course, idealism dies hard as knowladge and age start
to increase.
As I got older my idea of an ideal world started to take shape and
change. I started to develop an idea that the way to create a
utopia would be to provide hope and direction to people. In my
travels and in my experience, I have seen so many people hopes and
desire crushed by the enviroment and the world. Yet, all I
remember from those experience was my father always telling me never to
become those very people.
....Yah, I'm probably not going to complete this so I'll just post it as is....
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